Conclusion

Who am I?

WRITING THE CONCLUSION

PURPOSE: The purpose of the conclusion to any essay is to highlight the ultimate point the writer is trying to make and to bring the essay full-circle.

There are three sections to a conclusion; they need to be linked closely so that each section flows into the next section with a common thread:

A. REVISITING YOUR THESIS:  Begin with a reminder of your Thesis without restating it.  This should be one, somewhat simple sentence, but it could be longer if you choose.

Example:

Thesis Statement from Introduction:  Though I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations.

Revisited Thesis: By incorporating situations of homelessness that resound with my experiences, Homeboy Sandman encourages me to try to make a difference in the world

Now You Try:

Write your Thesis here: ______________________________________________________________________

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Now, Revisit your Thesis: ____________________________________________________________________

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Now, copy your Revisited Thesis into your rough draft packet.

B. Address the ENDURING UNDERSTANDING of your piece.  In other words, now that you have presented your argument in the body of your paper, what is the greater message about life that you want your audience to understand?  I like to refer to this section as the “ultimate So What?”  It should take you several sentences to do this well.

Example:

The perspectives of a common man, a homeless man, and Homeboy Sandman towards the situations and circumstances that surround homelessness demonstrate that people have different reactions towards what they encounter in life.  “Angels with Dirty Faces” brought me face to face with the reality that my actions speak fathomless words.  I can hold ideals of justice, but until I assist those who are mistreated, my ideals are meaningless. A homeless man will not know if I have a superior condescending attitude or a passionate sympathetic attitude unless I demonstrate it.  My mind isn’t read by people.  I must concentrate on the opportunities I have to help others, trust God’s voice, and act.   

Now You Try:

Write your Enduring Understanding here:

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Now, copy your Enduring Understanding into your rough draft packet.

C. Your CLOSER should respond to your OPENER chosen for the beginning of your essay.  The effectiveness of the CLOSER is directly related to the effectiveness of the OPENER.  This helps to bring your essay full circle.

            IF you….                                                        Then…

Asked a question                                            Answer it.

Defined something…                                     Add an additional layer to the meaning.

Told an anecdote…                                        Give a greater meaning to the story.

Gave a fact/observation/statement…              Comment on its greater significance.

Quoted something…                                      Return to it with greater relevance.

Example Topic: Change & Transformation

Sample Opener: Statement

I’m aggravated when people describe a homeless person as detestable.  They may without a home, but they are still a human being worthy of respect. 

Sample Closer for above Quotation:

God loves all people equally and I want to do the same.  Though the world may look down upon homeless people, I need to love them.

Now You Try:

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now, copy your Closer into your rough draft packet.

Clincher

Who am I?

WRITING CLINCHER STATEMENTS

DEFINED: A clincher is a single sentence that ends a body paragraph.

A clincher sentence SHOULD

·        states how the assertion of the topic sentence is true

·        connects to the larger idea that the author is trying to communicate through the examples presented in the paragraph

·        focuses on analytical thinking related to the significance of the paragraph

A clincher sentence SHOULD NOT

·        be a transition to the next paragraph

·        be/include a quotation

·        be a textual reference

Analysis

Who am I?

SAMPLE ANALYSIS OF TEXTUAL EVIDENCE

You CANNOT just throw Evidence into a paragraph without making an effort to analyze it.  The purpose of Analysis is to explain how the Evidence that you’ve provided proves your Topic Sentence/Thesis AND CONNECTS TO YOUR OWN LIFE.  You’ll need several sentences of  Analysis following each piece of Evidence.

Example 1: Self-sacrifice

Poor: (Underlined Analysis does not connect Evidence to the Topic Sentence/Thesis Statement)

(Topic Sentence) Though often I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations. (Statement) The narrator claims that he has a busy life and he cannot spare time to help someone who was not hardworking. (Integration) He makes an excuse, noting that the responsibility is not his own (Evidence) “I work my 9 to 5 trying to provide for me and mine, Not to sponsor every slob that survived Vietnam.” (analysis) So he continues to go on about his life.  He ignores the homeless man.  

Improved: (Underlined Analysis now links Evidence to Topic Sentence/Thesis Statement)

(Topic Sentence) Though often I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations. (Statement) The narrator claims that he has a busy life and he cannot spare time to help someone who was not hardworking. (Integration) He makes an excuse, noting that the responsibility is not his own (Evidence) “I work my 9 to 5 trying to provide for me and mine, Not to sponsor every slob that survived Vietnam.” The narrator claims that he has a job. He is busy doing his job.  Since many people who are homeless are ex-veterans from the military he stereotypes the homeless man as a slob from the Vietnam war.  I once passed a man on the street wearing dirty tattered clothes and thought to myself, “Why doesn’t this guy get a job? He is disgusting.” 

Quotes

Who am I?

MISC. NOTES ABOUT USING QUOTATIONS WITH ELLIPSES

Keep these things in mind when using ellipses:

1.       always begin your quotes with a capital letter unless the quote begins with an ellipses

2.       you may use ellipses (three dots …) to cut a portion out of a quote; however make sure that what you've included makes sense

3.       ellipses may be used at the beginning of a quote or in the middle of a quote but avoid ending a quote with ellipses

 The length of a quotation determines the way it is noted.

4.       For a quotation of four or more original text printed lines:

•        indent ten spaces (hit tab key twice) from the left

•        single space the quotation

•        do NOT use quotation marks unless they appear in the original

•        set the quotation off with a colon

•        place citation at the end of the passage after the final period

Example:

He showed compassion by saying:

I will pay your debts, I will have your child come to you, or you shall go to her.  You shall live here, at Paris, or where you will.  I take charge of your child and you.  You shall do no more work, if you do not wish to.  I will give you all the money that you need.  (16)

5. For a quotation of fewer than four original printed lines, enclose it in quotation marks.

Example:

When in the man looked up, “The first thing he saw was the basket of silver, he took it, crossed the room with hasty stride” (30).

Integration

Integration:

You CANNOT just throw textual evidence into a paragraph without making an effort to integrate it into a sentence.  There are different ways to integrate textual evidence; some ways are better than others.

1. Evidence is paraphrased information from the story/novel:

Introduce your quotes when possible using another word besides "said.”  Follow it with a comma before the quotation begins. 

Poor Example: (no Integration for the Evidence/Quotation)

 (statement) The narrator claims that he has a busy life and he cannot spare time to help someone who was not hardworking.  (evidence) “I work my 9 to 5 trying to provide for me and mine Not to sponsor every slob that survived Vietnam”

Improved Example: (with added Integration in Bold)

(Statement) The narrator claims that he has a busy life and he cannot spare time to help someone who was not hardworking. (Integration) He makes an excuse, noting that the responsibility is not his own (Evidence) “I work my 9 to 5 trying to provide for me and mine, Not to sponsor every slob that survived Vietnam”

Statement

WRITING STATEMENTS (EXAMPLES)

A Statement introduces each of your examples in the body paragraphs.

A Statement SHOULD…

·        Provide a specific reference to the text/lyrics (song)

·        Help to provide the context for your Integration & Evidence that will immediately follow

A Statement should NOT…

·        be/include a quotation

·        explain/summarize your example

GOOD EXAMPLES:

The narrator in the first verse could simply choose to ignore the homeless man.

The narrator claims that has a busy life and he cannot spare time to help someone who was not hardworking. 

Topic Sentences/Transitions

Here are examples of transitions

TRANSITIONS are used to separate examples within paragraphs and to separate paragraphs.  These are only some generic examples.  Transitions can be more specialized around your own topic as well. 

EXAMPLE:  You are writing a paper on the “NO HAT POLICY” You can “CUSTOMIZE” your transitions like this:  A good first example of the hat policy in action was when…

FIRST (to replace the overused “first”)

• One good example is
• First of all
• Initially
• One piece of evidence that points to this is
• It is important to note that
• The first good piece of evidence is
• One way to look at this is through
• One example that proves this is
• One example that suggests this is
• There are several examples that show this and one of them is
• First and foremost
• A good first example of this is
• It is important to first note that
• One notable example is
• The first indication of this is
• To begin with
• When looking over the evidence, it is clear that the first…
• One reason is
• One way this is true is
• In the beginning
• On one hand, there is
• A great example is
• One example that stands out is
• Probably the best example to begin (start) with is
• The best place to start is with
• This can first be seen when
• For example
• For instance
• The first instance that comes to mind is when

SECOND  (to replace the overused “second”)

• Another good example is
• Another interesting fact is
• Second of all
• Secondly
• Furthermore
• A great second example is
• Another good piece of evidence is
• Another way to look at this is through
• Another example that proves this is
• Another example that suggests this is
• Another great example that helps support this is
• Second and even more importantly
• The second good example is
• Yet another good reason (example ) is
• Yet another piece of evidence is
• Another indication of this is
• Still
• Even so
• In the same way
• Next
• The next example (idea, reason, piece of evidence)
• On the other hand, there is
• Even more compelling is
• Another example that stands out is
• Similarly
• Likewise
• Along with that,  there is
• Moreover
• In addition
• Adding to that
• In addition to that
• Still another great example is
• Then again, another stronger example is
• Of course
• Also
• In the same light
• Even more interesting is
• Adding to the first example is
• Making an even stronger case is
• An even better example of this is
• Equally as interesting was
• While the first example is good, an even better one is
• To add even more fuel to the fire
• To add another even more interesting fact
• An additional fact is

THIRD or FINAL (to replace the overused “third” and “finally”)

• A final example (fact, reason)
• And finally
• Lastly
• Last of all
• A final great example is
• The third and final example is
• The final good piece of evidence is
• The best way to look at this is through
• The final example that proves this is
• The last example that suggest this is
• The last (final) example that helps support this is
• Third and even more importantly
• The third good example is
• Yet the best reason (example) is
• Yet the best piece of evidence is
• The last (final) indication of this is
• Most compelling is
• Even so
• The best and final reason is
• On top of that
• The last example (idea, reason, piece of evidence)
• Best of all
• The final example to note
• The last example that stands out is
• Most importantly
• Accordingly
• Along with the first two examples, there is
• Moreover
• In addition to the first two
• Adding to those
• In addition to those
• Still another great example is
• Then again, the strongest example is
• Of course
• But most conclusive is
• In the same light
• A perfect final reason (example, fact) is
• Adding to the first two examples is
• Making an even stronger case is
• An even better example of this is
• The last place this can be seen is when
• While the first two examples are good, an even better one is
• To add even more fuel to the fire
• To add a final, even more interesting fact
• A good way to really show this is true is

IN CONCLUSION  (the “Con” part of MEL-Con) (to replace the overused “in conclusion” or “all in all” at the end of a paragraph)

• So, it is clear to see that
• Summing this whole thing up
• Accordingly
• In summary
• Consequently
• Thus
• As a result
• In short
• Therefore
• So
• The evidence clearly points
• All of this together means
• Put is all together and
• The best way to sum it up is
• With all of this
• The thee examples,………., prove that….
• And so therefore
• For all of these reasons, ………, one can see that……
• This all adds up to one conclusion
• So, when studying all of the reasons
• With all of this in mind
• Due to all of these reasons
• Together
• One can see that
• The evidence is clear
• No one can argue that
• And so it is
• Yes, it is evident that
• Truly
• To reemphasize
• To repeat
• Again
• Indeed
• Of course
• There is no doubt that
• There is no argument that
• With all of these examples
• In total
• When looking at all of the possibilities
• Clearly
• Yes, it is true then

For this particular assignment your topic sentence needs to include 3 things packed into one concise sentence.

A transition

Topic of the paragraph

Thesis reference may be a direct repetition of a key word(s) or idea(s) from the thesis, or it may also expand on the idea(s) behind the thesis

Thesis: Though often I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations.

Para. 1: Initially, Sandman presents a man who wanted to avoid homeless people, as I often have wanted to avoid them.

Now You Try:

Write your 3 topic sentences below – Remember the 3 T’s!

Body #1___________________________________________________________

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Body #2___________________________________________________________

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Body #3___________________________________________________________

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Journal 4: The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

Read The Lottery and relate the story to the Hunger Games. How might Suzanne Collins have been inspired by this story?  Or, relate the The Lottery to the Bible. How might The Lottery have been inspired by the Bible?

3/4 page journal

Intro

Who am I? Essay

WRITING THE INTRODUCTION

PURPOSE: The purpose of the introduction to any essay is to get the reader’s attention creatively and to introduce the main idea of the essay.

There are three sections to an introduction; they need to be linked closely so that each section flows into the next section with a common thread:

A. The OPENER:  It would, of course, be good to begin with an effective attention getter.  The attention getter should be original, specific, accurate, relevant, and useful.

Here are some options:

a definition

short personal experience

an anecdote (story)

a fact/observation/statement

a quotation (from another literary work/notable person)

an allusion

a thought-provoking question

Example Topic: Homelessness (in Angels with Dirty Faces)

A Quotation

Cliff Smith, coordinator of the Homeless Shelter Program once said, “Realistically, you aren't going to be able to completely end homelessness. But we certainly can do a much better job than we're doing right now.”  This perspective on homelessness…

A Statement

I’m aggravated when people describe a homeless person as detestable.  They may without a home, but they are still a human being worthy of respect. 

Now You Try:

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Finally, transfer the Opener above to the first page of your rough draft packet.

B. The IDENTIFICATION: This part of the introduction links the OPENER to the THESIS (see below) by narrowing the scope of the essay/topic and providing pertinent information to aid in understanding the upcoming THESIS.

Here are some things you must include:

title (in quotes!!)

author

Here are some things you should include:

the issue/topic under discussion

background information for the song/topic

Example Topic: homelessness

In his song “Angels With Dirty Faces,” Homeboy Sandman uses various images and scenarios, that resonate with my view of homeless people. In doing this, Sandman is able to create a critique that breeds thought provoking ideas and compassion.

C. The OPENER and IDENTIFICATION should connect to your THESIS - the main idea that will be supported by every sentence you write from now on.  The thesis should be one, complete sentence that takes a stand or makes a judgment/interpretation about the song you are discussing.  

Sample Thesis: Though I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations.

I’m aggravated when people describe a homeless person as detestable.  They may without a home, but they are still a human being worthy of respect.  In his song “Angels With Dirty Faces,” Homeboy Sandman uses various images and scenarios, that resonate with my view of homeless people. In doing this, Sandman is able to create a critique that breeds thought provoking ideas which provoke my desire to help the homeless. Though often I want to wait for an extraordinary person to stop injustice, Homeboy Sandman identifies situations where I can choose to help others or ignore their situations.